Busy, But an Exciting Weekend!

So tonight is the rehearsal/ rehearsal dinner for my brother's wedding! I'm really excited. No, not just for the free food. My brother's fiance, Amy, is so good with my niece. She deserves a great step mom to spoil her, like I had!

Any way- I'm leaving for work to head down there (Irish Hills). Then I have to come back up for the heart walk in the a.m. We raised almost $500 which doesn't seem like a lot but the coordinator that I got the shirts from seemed to think it was. Maybe she was just being nice :) Oh well- it was my first year as the team captain, I'll probably do it next year too.

After the heart walk I'll need to get ready really fast and head back down to Tecumseh for the wedding!

Then of course there will be the reception and I'm sure I'll stay until the end and help clean up since I won't be there to help set up, coordinate, etc. Then I'll probably go back to Josh's grandparent's for the night. I would like to come back up to Ann Arbor early Sunday- but I'm sure I'll end up staying down there all day. Kelsey and I are supposed to run.

I decided not to re-sign the lease to my apartment and find a cheaper place. I'm just barely getting by and I need to be able to save money for a car. Things just aren't working out financially at the moment so I needed to make a change. I'm not sure where I'm going to live yet- but I have until 6/12 to figure that out I guess.

Any recommendations, suggestions or advice are welcome. Because I don't know wth I'm going to do yet.

It's May :)

I'm glad it's May and getting closer to the pool opening! Although, it's been frickin' cold. Oh well, before we know it we'll all be sweatin' our balls off.

I have two 5ks coming up at the beginning of June. One I'm already signed up for, the other I have to wait until I get paid again.

My oldest brother is getting married Saturday! I'm excited for the wedding and rehearsal. I also have the Heart Walk this weekend (I'm our team captain). We're not going to reach our goal- but we did raise SOME money, it's over $300 I know that for sure.

Man... I really have nothing to talk about. Just not in the blogging mood I guess. This was a struggle. Maybe I'll feel like another one later.

Things Other Than Running...

So, a little bit of a crisis. I've decided that I need to move. With this job I have I can't afford this freaking apartment anymore and a car. I'm just getting by now and it's not because I blow my money all over town. I go out occasionally but nothing ridic.
I will have to move out of ann arbor because I need a new car and the only way I can afford a new car is with a much lower rent. I would be willing to commute quite a ways if I had a reliable car. Even from the Onsted area. The problem is that I won't find an apartment I can afford BY MYSELF--ANYWHERE. Doesn't matter where it is. So- do I try to find a random room mate on craigslist? Do I try to find someone I know? I would much prefer someone I know. It would be really cool if I had a bunch of friends and we got a big house but pretty much all of my friends are married or living with their significant other and happy as clams.
Not sure what I should do. Any suggestions are welcome!

Half Marathons Are Hard.

My half marathon was yesterday and guess what... it was really freaking hard. I finished, and I wasn't last. But I'm not happy with my time. Although, not unhappy enough to really want to run one again, haha. I think that's all for half and full marathons for me. Maybe when I'm old. A lot of old people run those things. I guess because they have so much time on thier hands... :-P Any way- it's just really freaking boring... like I've said before I would much rather concentrate on how fast I run than how far I run. I just don't have the strong desire to run a full marathon like I did before. A full marathon takes some SERIOUS dedication... how am I supposed to gather up all that will power and dedication when I'm not really sure I want to run it in the first place? It's not that it's too hard or too painful... it's just- boring.

We'll see. I may change my mind.

My next "challenge" is a 5k in June. It's called Flirt with Dirt . Should be fun :) I know it's a lot less than the half I just ran... 10 miles less to be exact... but I want to run it FAST. So I'm resting this week, then starting a training plan. I'm pretty sure I won't be sticking to ANY of the time restrictions, because that is just too slow. I'm running this 5k under 30 and that's all there is to it. I've had ENOUGH of my wimpy 5k times! It's time to get serious.

:)

I love Josh. He is good to me. He came to my race and waited around for over 3 hours in nasty weather. I think he took a nap... but still :) He makes me happy. I just really want to make him proud.

That's about all I care to blog about at the moment.

<3

Oh boy.

So, I set out for a ten mile run yesterday after work, feeling pretty good- excited to run the farthest I've EVER ran. Even farther than my skinny cross country days.

I'm running feeling good, taking my time because I know I have a long way to go. I see a bike heading my way on the small shoulder. He's facing me because bikes go with traffic and runners go against traffic. So he passes me we nod and 30 seconds later he's up behind me holding out a water bottle I dropped. Very nice of him.

Onward. I get to Huron River Drive. Yes, a rest at the cross walk and the park! And nice big sidewalks. I cross even though it said don't cross because I just didn't want to rest too much. Ran over the bridge, saw a beautiful swan and the lovely Huron River. People kayaking, golfing, running- beautiful day!

I check my watch- wow, I'm making good time!

Hm, doesn't feel like I'm 3.5 miles in. Oh well.

More running- feelin' the burn. A lot of people jog with their kids in strollers, I really want to do that when I have kids. Someone with a golden retriever runs by- I wish I could take Lola for runs! Maybe someday when she grows out of her puppiness.

Forward- hurtin- going to stop half way and rest- 5 miles! I get to the turn around point and stop to stretch out my calves/ shins because they hurt like hell! Glance at my watch... then I look closer... NOWAY! I'm about 10 minutes faster than I thought! Great! But then this sinking feeling starts to creep up... maybe I measured the route wrong... maybe it's not 10 miles.

I consider calling Josh and having him map it out for me again on the computer... but I figure I must just be having a good day. And it HURTS enough to feel like 5 miles...

So I start my journey back. Remembering all the hills I had to climb as I stride down them, and then vise versa. The sun is starting to get low, I'm pretty chilly, but it makes me want to run more, it makes me not want to stop.

A golfer waves and says "perfect day to be outside" I nod, although I totally disagree. If it was a perfect day my arms wouldn't feel like cold bricks and the sweat on my back wouldn't feel like ice cubes.

I get to a part of the shoulder that is just too skinny- so I cross the road and run with traffic instead of against. I feel like I'm breaking the law.

Soon after resuming my run on the correct side of the road- a cop car drives by. I wave. Good thing they stayed at the donut shop 3 minutes longer otherwise I'd be in hand cuffs.

SO close to home. Should I kick it into high speed? HELL NO. I can barely run. I'm afraid of pushing too much- my legs ache like nothing I've felt before. I guess this is how it feels to run 10 miles. Wrong.

I walk the last half mile.

It's ok. I knew I would have to walk some.

I'm home. Josh gives me a hug and tells me he's proud- it feels great. 10 miles! Really??? I look at my watch. The sinking feeling that creeped earlier now rushed. There was no way in hell I ran 10 miles in that amount of time. So I went right to my computer, www.mapmyrun.com- and almost cried. I only ran 7.1 miles.

Now I'm sure some of you are saying- 7 miles is great! But when I have 13 to run on Sunday and 7 miles about killed me-it's not great. It's bad.

I'm scared. What if I can't finish on Sunday? What if I'm too slow and I come in last or, worse, they close the course and the little gator comes and picks me up and I don't get to finish... just like those girls I pitied so much at my high school cross country races. I would think to myself- how can someone run the same course like 20 minutes slower than me? It's just a 5k. Now I wonder if there will people watching me finish (or not finishing) who will say - How can someone run that much slower than me? It's just a half marathon.

*sigh*

I know I'll be ok. I know I will finish. I just have to get my fears out. It helps me get over them.

Unfortunately they are still lingering... but I still have until Sunday :)

$$$

So if I had a million dollars probably half a million would be spent on clothes/ accessories. Half of half a million ($250,000 for those paying attention) would be spent on running 'stuff'. It's not so much that I would buy a lot, which I would, it's just the fact that the good stuff is so damn expensive.

I don't necessarily have a specific brand I buy, I just get whatever is on sale. If money was not an option, and with 1/4 million dollars to spend on running clothes I would say it's not, then I would probably buy a lot of Under Armour Brand. All the UA that I own (not very much) is awesome and my favorite and has been with me through thick and thin and not ripped at the seams. When I say thick and thin I really just mean thick, get it? :)

I must protect this house.

Another Sunday

Not much to blog about today. I had a good, productive weekend. 

I was supposed to go to NC this weekend for a friend's bachelor-ette party but plans fell through at the last minute. It's probably a good thing any way, I need to save money!

Friday night Josh and I went out with Ashley B. to Olive Garden. It was awesome. I've been to Olive Garden like a total of 5 times in my life. 

There was kind of a long wait for a table so we mozied over to art van. I REALLY need a new bed. I've been sleeping the same futon for about 7 years and it's definitely time for something new. Josh happened to be with me so we had a little couples "evaluation". We pretty much got to lay on a lot of insanely comfortable beds that we can't afford and asked tons of questions. It was actually a lot  of fun. We can't afford a bed right now, but I'm really excited for when we can!

For peeps that don't know- Josh and I are hopefully moving in together in June. That's the plan as long as he can get a job! He had me go over his resume today so I think he's getting serious about applying for jobs. So- if anyone hears of a computer engineering job let me know! Especially if it's in A2! 

We also started watching "Lost" on Netflix, Season 1. And I TOTALLY get what all the fuss is about. It's a really good freaking show. 

Went to the gym yesterday and today. Nothing crazy/amazing, but still good strong work outs. I am planning a 2 hour run tomorrow. I find if I concentrate more on time than miles, it's really helpfully-mentally. I'm a freaking mental case when it comes to running. My room mate also gave me some good advice. She said that every hour I should be "re-fueling"... which makes sense- I guess I just didn't think it applied to me, lol. She gave me this stuff called "GU Energy Gels".

I was going to do my 2 hour run today, so I popped one of these 15 minutes prior to starting my run (as directed), and I planned to take another one half way through... but- I had to poop. And when I tried to get back on the treadmill my chafed legs were on fire... hurt SO bad. Wrong shorts to wear. These are the right shorts to wear for fat girls:

I wish I could just go on a shopping spree for running clothes. 

I did just order this water belt thingy- 

I'm so happy I found out how to post pics, aren't you? :)

<3

Great Run!

So last night I went to the gym really late and ran for an hour straight! It was great! I had to stop for about 4 minutes half way into it, but it was a VERY successful run. I got that amazing runner's high that you hear about. I pretty much get it every time I run, but last night I was high as a kite :) It was the first good run in a long time, way over due. I just need to pace myself better and I can go for a long time! I'm starting to feel like I really CAN run this half marathon (17 days and counting). I mean, actually run it and not just walk most of it, haha.

I really hate pacing and telling myself that I have to slowdown. That's why marathons are just really not going to be my thang- I'm still going to run one this fall- but that will probably be my first and last. Maybe when I'm old. Or maybe when I have kids, if they get into running- which I really hope they do!

Any way- looking forward to more great runs!

And hopefully more lengthy ones... soon :-/

Yep. Another one.

This day is perfect for blogs. This one will be shorter, maybe.

So I have two and a half hours left of work, and I realized: that's about how long I will be running 18 days from now, if I'm lucky I know that I talk about running a lot and a lot of you might think that I'm a good runner and have a lot of endurance but the truth is... I don't. HA. I am a natural sprinter, I have always had a hard time with distance running. But this is something I've wanted to do since high school. Just once. I always set high standards and big goals and then I let myself down. I'm ready to break that cycle, and I figured this was a great way to do it.

It's so friggin' hard though.

I say I'm a natural sprinter, however since I have doing nothing but long distances my fast-twitch muscles are not working, haha. I am SLOW. So now, not only do I have no endurance- but I'm slow too.

It's ok. Because once this marathon business is done I'm going to just stick to the 5ks and maybe some 10ks. I realize that I really love 5ks. They are short and sweet and speed work is important.

Plus, believe it or not, from what I've been reading- apparently shorter (but much faster) distances are a more efficient way of losing weight. It makes sense to me I suppose.

P.S. after 3 months of solid training, I still haven't lost any weight.

P.P.S. I think I look a little better though.

P.P.P.S. yes, I know I might not look like I need to lose weight but I am "technically" over weight for my height/ age.

P.P.P.P.S. I AM depressed about it. It bothers me.

bloooooooogin' it.

My day was made at 8am today :) When I was leaving for work Josh said to me "you look really pretty today". Don't know why, but it totally made my day. I mean I know he thinks I'm pretty, but just to hear it right when I'm just starting my day was wonderful.

I love all the stormy weather we have been having! Especially since it's staying relatively warm, but I think that is going to change as the week progresses.

I have Friday off! Yes! So today is like my Thursday and tomorrow is like my Friday :) I have a lot of things to catch up on. My room is a DISASTER area, from hurricane Lola. She's so messy! I don't have time to vacuum every day! Hopefully she'll grow out of her craziness. I will always love her even if she doesn't, though :) I just can't wait to have more space to spread out in my apartment in June. I think that will help with all the clutter and appearance of having a dirty room. I also need to do laundry but that will have to wait until Friday when I get paid. I hate paying to do my laundry! It's like $20 every time. It's ridic.

I've been slacking on running, and now is NOT the time to slack! Only 18 days until the half marathon! Gosh! How did I let myself be so under trained? I guess maybe because I've never trained for one before? Oh well, I know I can make it... even with the time limit! Ha! There is a time limit because people can't be there all day... makes perfect sense to me. They give you the option of starting an hour early and I really don't think I NEED to do that... but I'm scared :-/ because if you are too slow then they won't let you finish. But it is an extremely forgiving time limit... I really don't think I need to start early... I'm thinking of it as kind of an adventure run. It's going to be out in Pinckney around a lot of lakes and wildlife. It's sounds nice :) I feel bad for Josh because he's going to be bored out of his mind, lol. He'll probably take Lola and have her run around, maybe nap in the car. It's going to be a LONG run.

My sister, Crystal, is about to have her baby. C-section is planned for Tuesday! Hopefully I can get the day off but we have been so crazy short staffed at work. We'll see. I'll be pretty upset if I can't be there.

Man, work sucks today. Trying to be positive, but it's not working. I'm cranky, tired, and hungry. And it's only 10:09am.

Maybe I'll write more later.

Work.

So I'm at work, another boring day. I like my job. Pretty much just because my boss is awesome and I like the people I work with. I really don't like the work I do. Yea, sure, I get to "help" people who are sick and sometimes I'm even good at my job and make people happy. But I really want to do something different. I don't know what it is, but I want to do it. I want to stay at UM, but as of right now I'm not really qualified to do anything else besides what I do now or something similar. We have classes for new employees and I think I would really like to be one of the instructors. I know I would be good at it. But it seems like they all said they had their masters in whatever when they were introducing themselves... but seriously, no degree is required to do their job. They just teach you how to use the programs that I use every day and have used for years now. It doesn't seem that hard.
Any way, someday when I'm comfortable leaving my job here I'll look into it. Until then, it's boring routine.
Don't get me wrong, my job is not easy, but it IS boring... does that make sense?

Enough about work.

I "ran" 5 miles yesterday. It's in quotations because I also walked some of it. My intention was to run the whole time so I'm still going to call it a run... but there was walking. *sigh* My half marathon (13.1 miles) is in 23 days! I'm just such a mental case. It's been said that running is 10% physical and 90% mental, and at my level that is very true. When you get into the pros it's different. But yea, I'm going to try and concentrate on this more while I'm running and not while I'm sitting at my desk at work.

I was going to go work out this morning. I was up, dressed and ready to go. I then realized as I was putting Lola in her cage that she was going to bark and wake up my room mate... at 5:30am. She has severe seperation anxiety. If I don't put her in her cage she tears my room apart, poops and pees all over (even if I JUST let her out) and barks and scratches like a crazy dog. So, I decided I should probably not leave so early... I'm so bummed because I know not that I can do it, I can get up and go work out in the early morning before work! I could do it on a regular basis! But... Lola is a big problem.

My room mate is moving out when our lease is up (6/14) and I'm pretty excited because Josh wants to find a job in Ann Arbor and move in with me. It would be so nice to have that apartment to ourselves. I could spread out instead of being cramped up in one room. Lola would be a lot happier too. I'm just trying to be patient and hope that everything falls into place. Our relationship has really grown and I'm really starting to settle down emotionally. He seems to finally be coming around and having confidence in me, that I'm the one he wants. It's a good feeling.

Only time will tell... I hate that.

<3

So My Last Post Was OOGLY!

I'm talking more about the color scheme than the actual content...
Any way, this one will be prettier and I'm at work so there is no alcohol in my system, things seem to work out better that way :)
I am going to have a BUSY summer! First off- my half marathon is on 4/25... so nervous! But afterwards I want to get a tattoo of "13.1", just small, subtle. Just a reminder that I CAN do something I put my mind to. My history really hasn't reflected that and it's time to change.
My sister Crystal is about to have her second baby, I think it's supposed to be a boy but we'll see. I'm kind of hoping for a girl! She is also getting married on July 31st and I'm a bridesmaid, woot!
May 15th my oldest brother is getting married. Very excited about that as well, I love weddings! And the reception of course :)
Josh's cousin, Mike, and Kelsey are getting married sometime this summer! I'm so excited for them! I love Kelsey and I'm glad she will be around for good now! And yes I know you are probably reading this :D
Then I'm also in my friend Lindsay's wedding. That is going to be September 11th, also SUPER excited for that!
I haven't picked out the full marathon that I'm going to run yet, but it will probably be October. That will also be followed by a tattoo that says "26.2".
There are so many people getting married and part of me is a little jealous... But a much larger part of me knows that my day will come and is just thankful that all these people in my life are finding happiness!
So the running thing, ya. I will definitely go through with this half marathon and the full marathon, but after that I'm sticking to 5ks and maybe some 10ks. As much as I want to be, I am just not a good distance runner. I don't have the motivation for it, I don't have the patience for it. I don't enjoy stressing about how many miles I'm going to get in... I enjoy the feel of the accomplishment, but I would much rather focus on speed of shorter distances. I want to concentrate on getting faster. A faster time gives me more joy than longer miles.
That's all for now, in the future I will try to keep the drunken blogs to a minimum :)

wow

I just wrote a post but did not publish it. I can't believe that I have turned into the person I have. I have so much hatred towards this one person. That's all I can say. I can't believe I have let myself feel this anger and violence and just pure hate... that's not who I am. 

But I guess that is what blogging is about. I'm glad I chose not to post that blog because it's completely inappropriate but at the same time raw truth about how I feel. I don't think people should have all the insight that they do into my heart... I am proud of myself for keeping some of this to myself.

I am the only one that has control over this hatred I feel. I can either let it consume me, like it did in my un-posted blog. Or I can live and let die... that's right, totally just quoted Guns N Roses... but actually the Guns N Roses version of live and let die is a remake... by some other famous band but I can't think of who it is. Google that shit.

Anyway. I have to let go, and I know I can someday. Just not yet. I have never felt this way towards anyone. 

Ok, well Josh and I are happy and I so wish I could say that I hope she is happy but I really don't.

See what I mean? That is NOT the type of person I am. *sigh* I don't know what to do with this new person. I guess I just need to make sure she doesn't take over. I will be who I want to be, not who my circumstances change me into. I will get over it and move on. I have control over the person I am and the person I will be, the person I want to be.

And, if somehow all of this hatred gets back to her I'm sure she will just laugh at it and laugh at me... but I really don't care, ok I do. I care that she is so heartless. I wish I didn't. But when you learn that someone you cared about, and thought they cared about you (acted like they cared), is a totally different person from what you had perceived.... it's hard. I can't believe how two-faced she was... it makes me question my judgment.

Anyway... I'm starting into my un-posted blog and I don't want to do that! So, I hope everyone reading this knows that I am happy (seriously) and I have a wonderful relationship with Josh. Things are so much better, because we want them to be and because we BOTH love each other and want to be together more than anything in the world. I hope that everyone knows how GOOD he is to me, I could not ask for more, well maybe for some memory erasing serum :) 

That's all. I am sorry for the drama. I really don't like it but I realize this blog is LACED with it.

Just had to get it out. I feel a lot better and a lot less violent :)

<3

Friday Night and I'm staying in with the boyfriend and the dog. And I have no problem with that. We are low on the cash flow but happy! We both really wanted pizza so we got Little Caesar's $5 large and crazy bread. It was delish... and we have left overs for lunch tomorrow. We are now drinking some cheap rum and pepsi. Life is good. I really like being young and my only responsibilities being work and paying bills. It ain't no thang. I don't ever want to take it for granted because I know someday things will be different. I don't need a fancy car, I don't need a fancy place to live, I don't need expensive clothes. I'm happy. Or maybe I'm just happy because I have rum? ha :) There are times when I am happy and sober, I promise! It's just so crazy all the ups and downs of life, I suspect they will never stop. There will always be a crisis, always a drama, it's just how I handle each said thing. I can do it. I can make the best out of a situation, I will do my best!
Right now I am sitting at my computer waiting for the new Lady Gaga video to load and listening to George Michaels.... that's right, Father Figure. Good song. However random. Good music video too. Holy crap I love music so much. I was reading in Runner's World how every 2 or 3 runs you should run without your IPOD. Hell no. Well maybe. But I love listening to music, it makes life so good. I love such a huge range of music... from George Michaels to Lady Gaga, lol. I heard this song recently called "Lifetime" by Better Than Ezra. It was a good story. I love songs that have a story. That's probably why I love country music too.
Now "I Would Walk 500 Miles" just came on, <3 shuffle on my itunes <3 <3 <3
I wish Kelsey would tell me the big news. The suspense is killing me. I hope she knows if she told me I TOTALLY would NOT blog about it although a total of like 4 people read my blog... welll the prescribe I don't know if they even read it, that's just who subscribes. But yea, I wouldn't even tell those 4 people. Well 3 because she is one of the 4. You better text me <3 :)
Running is good/ ok. 5 miles yesterday, was TOUGH. I felt like an old lady after, but that means I worked hard, right? Ugh. I am an old lady. But even those old ladies run and kick ass at half / full marathons, right? For real. There are a ton of old people that beat me, which isn't saying much, but I know old people beat people with penises too. and I don't even have a penis! :)
I know this blog is all over the place but I feel best when buzzed, or after a run. Maybe I should run more and drink less? Probably. It's a transition though. I've been drinking a LITTLE less, but running more for sure. Baby steps :)
"Go Your Own Way" - Fleetwood Mac <3 <3 <3
I joined a March Madness pool and it's going well! But I don't think that many people are in it so even if I DO win, it would probably only be like $50, which equals $40 considering I have to put $10 in. But maybe I'm wrong, maybe there are more people in it than I think. I hope I hope! Because my pics are BA.
I like the chorus of this song "You can go your own way" which there is much more than that line... but that sums it up. You can go your own way and do what you want because this is America damn it and we have freedom! Well, for the most part. But you make your own destiny. No one chooses what you do in your life, it's all up to you. Which is scary but so much more relieving than anything else. Sure, people will influence your life, shit will happen that is out of your control, but you still have the choice in how to react to it. God, so much easier said than done... ugh.
I love music.
Right now it's "Desperately Wanting" by Better Than Ezra... yes I know I mentioned them already but I like this song too. Not sure EXACTLY what it's about... but I think maybe the guy singing remembering young love but then the girl gets depressed and goes into a psych hospital... he's still trying to talk to her through letters, I dunno. And then he's telling her to be strong and "take back your life". That's so true too... no matter what shit happens you can take back your own life. Someone dies, a boyfriend breaks up with you, you lose your job, your car breaks down, you're audited, lol... anything. You have the power.
Ok, I am totally coming off hippy-ish. Maybe it's Ann Arbor wearing off on me, but for real. I'd rather live like this than uptight and thinking that I have to rule the world financially, with power or prestige or recognition. But I so want a bachelor's degree. That sentence right there says that I'm not ready to pursue one.. because I'm saying "a" bachelor's degree, like I don't even care what one. Well I do. But I can't freaking decide on anything. And even though I consider myself an intelligent woman I'm not a disciplined one, so I need FOCUS. And I have none right now. *sigh*.
OH I LOVE MUSIC!
Listen, I know that I'm crazy right now because I'm under the influence but it's really freeing. I can be like this when I'm sober, but it's not as easy, and it's not in a public blog :)
OK, well if you've made it this far congratulations. You know a little bit more of me, which I hope is a good thing?
I gotta check my march madness.... <3 ya.

And Now Some Lyrics

Love this song. And yes "Peace" is spelled how it's supposed to be spelled. I am a grammar nazi as well.

Peace of Mind- Boston

Now, if you're feeling kinda low 'bout the dues you've been paying;
Futures coming much too slow,
And you wanna run but somehow you just keep on staying,
Can't decide on which way to go.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I understand about indecision,
But I don't care if I get behind.
People living in competition;
All I want is to have my peace of mind.
Yeah.
O-o-oh.

Now you're climbing to the top of the company ladder,
Hope it doesn't take too long.
Can't you see there'll come a day when it won't matter,
Come a day when you'll be gone.

Chorus

Take a look ahead.
Take a look ahead.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Now everybody's got advice they just keep on giving.
Doesn't mean too much to me.
Lots of people have to make-believe they're living,
Can't decide who they should be.

Chorus

Take a look ahead.
Take a look ahead.
Look ahead.

HI :)

So I guess I have a lot to blog about I just: A. haven't felt like it, and B. haven't had a lot of time.

Josh has been staying over a lot lately, love it! Yay! I know this sounds stupid but I love being able to come home to him and cook dinner for him. Next thing you know I'll be out on the porch barefoot with a baby on my hip and my hair in rollers :) Not really... that is not desirable.

I'm just saying, I think a lot of women look down on other women who like to be domesticated and "take care" of their man. I say as long as he takes care of her too then what's the problem? Josh takes good care of me. He does the "man" chores all the time. He takes out the trash, carries the laundry up and down the stairs, takes me out for dinner when he can, helps me with ANYTHING I ask, NEVER complaining, never hesitating to say "sure honey".  He also listens to me, and encourages me to reach my goals, especially with running which I need SO much encouragement! I could write a long time about him but all you need to know is I love him.

I'm scared because I'm really really happy again and it seems like when things get like that something shitty happens. I know life is full of ups and downs but... I'd like to stay up for awhile. K? Thanks.

Running is going a little better. Ran a 5k on Sunday which was NOT fast at all... but felt good and was fun! So, I guess I shouldn't care? I have already paid for a half marathon that will be on 4/25... so soon! I'm not even up to half the mileage I need to be so it's time to kick it in gear! 5 miles today. No excuses. I can't promise it will be fast, but I'm going to do my best!

I had a really good weekend. On Friday some friends and I went to dubs and had some delicious beer. I just love going there and ordering a big tall beer. Love it. We then walked to a bar/ club called 5th Quarter. Good times. Didn't do much dancing pretty much because I couldn't (I drank a lot). Then I guess on the way to the car I went up into a semi trailer that was unloading food and tried to steal some green peppers.?? Great night, but ROUGH morning. The rest of the weekend was pretty chill. 5k on Sunday and lots of sleeping!

I spent $20 on laundry Sunday! WTF!?!?

I have decided not to play WoW this month :'o( Money is just TOO tight. And I want to tan. I can't yet, but maybe next paycheck. I think I'll look ten times better with my blonde hair if I have a tan. Also, maybe less fat :)

The losing weight is still not happening as quickly as I would like it to, but I'm losing a few pounds here and there. I'm hoping by the time that half marathon comes I will look smokin' hot... because hot girls run fast :)

There is this girl at work sitting behind me playing this game online that makes a creaky sound every once in awhile and it sounds EXACTLY like that sound in the grudge. I think you know what I'm talking about. And you are freaked out too just thinking about it.

Kelsey, if you are reading this, I know you don't like movies... but you need to watch the grudge. You will be freaked the freak out! Watch it with Mike in the dark.

I lost my train of thought.

Bye

Yuh

So Jess was talking about the Bar Louie in freaking Toledo. F that. So it's a Netflix night. Josh and I are going to watch Deja Vu and then Saw 6, which I had to BEG him to watch with me but I'm super psyched.
I'm sad because I have seen all the Saw movies in the movie theater, except this one. I went with my dad to see 3, 4 and 5. It was a cool daddy-daughter thing because we both love scary movies but neither of our sig othuhs do. So it was nice. But when 6 came out I was mad at him... I should have just gotten over it and asked him to see it with me. My dad and I have a very complicated relationship. Well we pretty much have no relationship at all... but yea. *sigh*. We have  long complicated history. Sorry, depressing blog. It's done now, lol.
Movie Time!

Saturday Night's Alright For Fightin'...

<3 Elton John. Yea. I said it.
Pretty bummed, no one to hang out with on Saturday night between Josh and I. It's nice to have him around but we've been cooped up and are ready to go out with some peeps. It's ok, it's still early.
Last night we didn't have anyone to hang out with either. So we drank and watched some TV and then walked to the liquor store and came home and drank more. So, pretty boring. But at least I had someone to be with.
Today I slept a lot, it was pretty sweet actually.
We might go to Bar Louie with Jessica and Mark and a group of people they are with. I just have to try and talk Josh into it <3

EXTREMELY blonde hair

So I was at Rite Aid a few weeks ago waiting for my prescription to be filled when I came across a bunch of items on clearance. Nothing really that I wanted... and then I saw it! Hair color for 50% OFF! Now if only I could find two boxes of the same color... sure enough I did. However, it is called "Bleach Blonde". So I'm already.. sort of blonde. But that almost orange-ish nasty blonde because I tried to dye my hair from dark brown to blonde, lol. Well I thinking this time is going to go better... but I can already tell it's REALLLLLLY blonde :o/ Only ten minutes to go and we will see... very scared.
p.s. Josh helped :o)

I also got to move my desk to a bigger, sweeter desk at work. Right by the windows too so I won't have to waste break time to watch the wildlife that graces the NCAC :o)

I went to the doctor yesterday to talk about some things... mostly to do with my training. I'm having problems with my knees and he has diagnosed me with Patellofemoral Pain Syndrome, or Runner's knee. How appropriate. It's no biggie though because he gave me some exercises and special stretches to do and I love stretching so that should be easy.
 I've also been having problems with breathing towards the ends of my runs. It feels like I can't take a deep enough breath in, like my lungs won't expand. Well, as I feared, he is pretty sure that I have exercise induced asthma. Which is ok, because that is do-able. I mean what would be the alternative? Something worse I'm sure. He is sending me for a pulmonary test to confirm that which is sweet. I really like my doc because he isn't afraid to BE SURE and order tests. He's very thorough. Any way, I'll be fine. I've never had an "attack" or anything so it's all good. Should help my training.

Speaking of training I suck. I haven't ran for a week! I have a 5 k in less than 2 weeks and the half marathon is just over a month away! What am I doing?! Argh!

Oh, my doc also referred me to a nutritionist. I've been running pretty vigorously for the past 2 months 3,4 sometimes 5 days a week and I'm just gaining weight! And I know it's because of my eating habits. I'm not 14 anymore. *sigh* so depressing. But it's ok. I WANT to eat healthier. I want to be healthy. And I want to kick ass at that marathon in the fall!

Still haven't decided which one. Maybe the Detroit Marathon, because I don't think I'm going to have enough money to go away somewhere. Money is another blog :)

Time to rinse my hair! Wish me luck!

Yep... it's Monday again.

So even though most of my plans didn't work out, it was still a pretty damn good weekend.

Friday I went up to Flint with Josh to see some of his room mates. I love going up there, it's been awhile. I always learn something new, haha! They are always talking about cars and technology and computers and things that I don't necessarily have an interest in... but it's interesting. Hard to explain. I enjoy listening to their conversations.

Saturday we went back to my apartment and relaxed. We then got ready to go to his grandparent's 50th anniversary party in Onsted. It was a lot of fun. It's nice to know that marriages CAN last. Anyway, I had a good time.

Sunday was a pretty chill day. My friend Ashley came over and Josh helped her make a blanket for her boyfriend. Josh and I went grocery shopping and I made gyros for dinner. I am looking up recipes for lamb meat because I have  A LOT of it. And I WILL be using ALL of it because it was EXPENSIVE and I will be upset if it goes bad. I'm thinking about making this... minus the eggplant. The only thing I need that I don't have at home is feta cheese. We will also probably make Stir-fry using lamb also. Maybe lamb sandwiches? I'll figure it out.

I'm so excited that Josh is staying all week with me because I'll get to cook, a lot! I love to cook. It's a lot more fun when I have someone else to cook for though. I get to experiment. I really like having him around. He helps me take care of Lola and cleans some and takes out the garbage for me :o) It's really nice to have someone to talk to and watch movies/ tv with or play computer games with.

I get to leave work early today for a doc appt. I forgot my gym clothes at home so I'll have to go home before running. I'm pretty sure I'm just going to run at home instead of driving back out to the gym. It's March now and I need to get my ass outside and start running longer miles. Less than 5 weeks until the half marathon! EEK! Josh and I are running the Shamrocks and Shenanigans 5k on March 14th. I ran it last year but I'm pretty sure this year will be a lot faster!

So I guess that's all for now.

Friday Night!

It's Friday! Woot! But I still have 1.5 hours to go at work. Ready to be outta here.

My friend Lindsay was going to come up this weekend (she's from Toledo) and hang out because her fiance is out of town and she needs someone to cuddle with. But, her car battery is dead.

So I think I am going up to Flint tonight with Josh to see some friends. Tomorrow I'm having a Mary Kay Party at my apartment, then going to Josh's grandparent's 50th wedding anniversary party! Def looking forward to it. Then back up to A2 on Sunday and back to work on Monday, yuck.

I saw this video on failblog.com and I want to know if I'm the only one that is freaked out about doing this everytime I get my oil changed? Seeing this video has made it worse...

The weather is nasty right now, and it's not supposed to get any better. I'm worried my weekend plans will be ruined! Oh well, at least I have Josh up here with me. And a blog.

I Found a Dollar

I found a dollar today in the snow :)

Sidetrack's

I had a great time out with my co-workers tonight! I'm so lucky to have a group of girls that are fun and I get along with... and I just happen to get to work with them everyday! But, two of these girls are leaving. Sarah's last day is tomorrow and Linsay will soon follow. I still have Jess though! And I really love the older ladies that we work with. I really could not ask for better coworkers. GQ even came, and she was totally fine! Did not get on my nerves AT ALL! Maybe I just need to drink Woodchuck Cider at work? I'd probably get fired, though. However, I do have the coolest boss ever. For real. She doesn't even read this blog and I am going to tell you that she is the best boss ever. Totally flexible and SO fun to work with. She's one of those eccentric women :) But in a good way. I just really enjoy her. I would work there forever if it paid enough.
Anyway. The job situation is another blog. However, I am thankful for what I have. I am seriously blessed, if there is such a thing... which is also another blog :)
More WoW.... bye!

Bloggity Blog Blog Blog

So, I'm going to blog. Kelsey told me to and I do what I'm told, especially if it's Kelsey telling me what to do.

Not really. But I like Kelsey.

I don't really know if anyone will read this and I'm afraid to even write because I'm thinking I might get a little too personal and at times share things that I might regret later and I'm afraid that I might hurt someone's feelings because I can be insensitive when I'm not actually talking outloud. I'm also afraid of run-on sentences.

Right now, life is pretty ok. I'm at work not doing work as usual. My job is pretty boring but I have so much freedom and flexibility... I'm getting paid to blog right now for goodness sake! But I can't help but complain because I don't get paid shit, and I work next to the most ANNOYING person I've ever met. There are only two people I truly hate in the world. The first person is this girl, we'll call her "Ghetto Queen", or "GQ". I could write all freaking day about her. The other person is a completely different, long and painful story. I'll save that for a rainy day.

It's odd to me that I have such hatred for GQ. She has never been mean to me. I think I'm a very accepting person, I'm very tolerable of people that are different... annoyingly so. But not GQ. There are stories, but pretty much nothing anyone outside my workplace would understand. Just understand that she's annoying as hell.

Today I'm going to Sidetrack's in Ypsi for a going away party for Sarah. She was my first friend when I came to the call center and is very special to me! I'm sad to see her go, but I'm glad she is getting what she wants.

I'm really just excited for the fried pickles.

That's all I'm going to write about today. I like this. I will do it again tomorrow.