Things Other Than Running...

So, a little bit of a crisis. I've decided that I need to move. With this job I have I can't afford this freaking apartment anymore and a car. I'm just getting by now and it's not because I blow my money all over town. I go out occasionally but nothing ridic.
I will have to move out of ann arbor because I need a new car and the only way I can afford a new car is with a much lower rent. I would be willing to commute quite a ways if I had a reliable car. Even from the Onsted area. The problem is that I won't find an apartment I can afford BY MYSELF--ANYWHERE. Doesn't matter where it is. So- do I try to find a random room mate on craigslist? Do I try to find someone I know? I would much prefer someone I know. It would be really cool if I had a bunch of friends and we got a big house but pretty much all of my friends are married or living with their significant other and happy as clams.
Not sure what I should do. Any suggestions are welcome!

Half Marathons Are Hard.

My half marathon was yesterday and guess what... it was really freaking hard. I finished, and I wasn't last. But I'm not happy with my time. Although, not unhappy enough to really want to run one again, haha. I think that's all for half and full marathons for me. Maybe when I'm old. A lot of old people run those things. I guess because they have so much time on thier hands... :-P Any way- it's just really freaking boring... like I've said before I would much rather concentrate on how fast I run than how far I run. I just don't have the strong desire to run a full marathon like I did before. A full marathon takes some SERIOUS dedication... how am I supposed to gather up all that will power and dedication when I'm not really sure I want to run it in the first place? It's not that it's too hard or too painful... it's just- boring.

We'll see. I may change my mind.

My next "challenge" is a 5k in June. It's called Flirt with Dirt . Should be fun :) I know it's a lot less than the half I just ran... 10 miles less to be exact... but I want to run it FAST. So I'm resting this week, then starting a training plan. I'm pretty sure I won't be sticking to ANY of the time restrictions, because that is just too slow. I'm running this 5k under 30 and that's all there is to it. I've had ENOUGH of my wimpy 5k times! It's time to get serious.

:)

I love Josh. He is good to me. He came to my race and waited around for over 3 hours in nasty weather. I think he took a nap... but still :) He makes me happy. I just really want to make him proud.

That's about all I care to blog about at the moment.

<3

Oh boy.

So, I set out for a ten mile run yesterday after work, feeling pretty good- excited to run the farthest I've EVER ran. Even farther than my skinny cross country days.

I'm running feeling good, taking my time because I know I have a long way to go. I see a bike heading my way on the small shoulder. He's facing me because bikes go with traffic and runners go against traffic. So he passes me we nod and 30 seconds later he's up behind me holding out a water bottle I dropped. Very nice of him.

Onward. I get to Huron River Drive. Yes, a rest at the cross walk and the park! And nice big sidewalks. I cross even though it said don't cross because I just didn't want to rest too much. Ran over the bridge, saw a beautiful swan and the lovely Huron River. People kayaking, golfing, running- beautiful day!

I check my watch- wow, I'm making good time!

Hm, doesn't feel like I'm 3.5 miles in. Oh well.

More running- feelin' the burn. A lot of people jog with their kids in strollers, I really want to do that when I have kids. Someone with a golden retriever runs by- I wish I could take Lola for runs! Maybe someday when she grows out of her puppiness.

Forward- hurtin- going to stop half way and rest- 5 miles! I get to the turn around point and stop to stretch out my calves/ shins because they hurt like hell! Glance at my watch... then I look closer... NOWAY! I'm about 10 minutes faster than I thought! Great! But then this sinking feeling starts to creep up... maybe I measured the route wrong... maybe it's not 10 miles.

I consider calling Josh and having him map it out for me again on the computer... but I figure I must just be having a good day. And it HURTS enough to feel like 5 miles...

So I start my journey back. Remembering all the hills I had to climb as I stride down them, and then vise versa. The sun is starting to get low, I'm pretty chilly, but it makes me want to run more, it makes me not want to stop.

A golfer waves and says "perfect day to be outside" I nod, although I totally disagree. If it was a perfect day my arms wouldn't feel like cold bricks and the sweat on my back wouldn't feel like ice cubes.

I get to a part of the shoulder that is just too skinny- so I cross the road and run with traffic instead of against. I feel like I'm breaking the law.

Soon after resuming my run on the correct side of the road- a cop car drives by. I wave. Good thing they stayed at the donut shop 3 minutes longer otherwise I'd be in hand cuffs.

SO close to home. Should I kick it into high speed? HELL NO. I can barely run. I'm afraid of pushing too much- my legs ache like nothing I've felt before. I guess this is how it feels to run 10 miles. Wrong.

I walk the last half mile.

It's ok. I knew I would have to walk some.

I'm home. Josh gives me a hug and tells me he's proud- it feels great. 10 miles! Really??? I look at my watch. The sinking feeling that creeped earlier now rushed. There was no way in hell I ran 10 miles in that amount of time. So I went right to my computer, www.mapmyrun.com- and almost cried. I only ran 7.1 miles.

Now I'm sure some of you are saying- 7 miles is great! But when I have 13 to run on Sunday and 7 miles about killed me-it's not great. It's bad.

I'm scared. What if I can't finish on Sunday? What if I'm too slow and I come in last or, worse, they close the course and the little gator comes and picks me up and I don't get to finish... just like those girls I pitied so much at my high school cross country races. I would think to myself- how can someone run the same course like 20 minutes slower than me? It's just a 5k. Now I wonder if there will people watching me finish (or not finishing) who will say - How can someone run that much slower than me? It's just a half marathon.

*sigh*

I know I'll be ok. I know I will finish. I just have to get my fears out. It helps me get over them.

Unfortunately they are still lingering... but I still have until Sunday :)

$$$

So if I had a million dollars probably half a million would be spent on clothes/ accessories. Half of half a million ($250,000 for those paying attention) would be spent on running 'stuff'. It's not so much that I would buy a lot, which I would, it's just the fact that the good stuff is so damn expensive.

I don't necessarily have a specific brand I buy, I just get whatever is on sale. If money was not an option, and with 1/4 million dollars to spend on running clothes I would say it's not, then I would probably buy a lot of Under Armour Brand. All the UA that I own (not very much) is awesome and my favorite and has been with me through thick and thin and not ripped at the seams. When I say thick and thin I really just mean thick, get it? :)

I must protect this house.

Another Sunday

Not much to blog about today. I had a good, productive weekend. 

I was supposed to go to NC this weekend for a friend's bachelor-ette party but plans fell through at the last minute. It's probably a good thing any way, I need to save money!

Friday night Josh and I went out with Ashley B. to Olive Garden. It was awesome. I've been to Olive Garden like a total of 5 times in my life. 

There was kind of a long wait for a table so we mozied over to art van. I REALLY need a new bed. I've been sleeping the same futon for about 7 years and it's definitely time for something new. Josh happened to be with me so we had a little couples "evaluation". We pretty much got to lay on a lot of insanely comfortable beds that we can't afford and asked tons of questions. It was actually a lot  of fun. We can't afford a bed right now, but I'm really excited for when we can!

For peeps that don't know- Josh and I are hopefully moving in together in June. That's the plan as long as he can get a job! He had me go over his resume today so I think he's getting serious about applying for jobs. So- if anyone hears of a computer engineering job let me know! Especially if it's in A2! 

We also started watching "Lost" on Netflix, Season 1. And I TOTALLY get what all the fuss is about. It's a really good freaking show. 

Went to the gym yesterday and today. Nothing crazy/amazing, but still good strong work outs. I am planning a 2 hour run tomorrow. I find if I concentrate more on time than miles, it's really helpfully-mentally. I'm a freaking mental case when it comes to running. My room mate also gave me some good advice. She said that every hour I should be "re-fueling"... which makes sense- I guess I just didn't think it applied to me, lol. She gave me this stuff called "GU Energy Gels".

I was going to do my 2 hour run today, so I popped one of these 15 minutes prior to starting my run (as directed), and I planned to take another one half way through... but- I had to poop. And when I tried to get back on the treadmill my chafed legs were on fire... hurt SO bad. Wrong shorts to wear. These are the right shorts to wear for fat girls:

I wish I could just go on a shopping spree for running clothes. 

I did just order this water belt thingy- 

I'm so happy I found out how to post pics, aren't you? :)

<3

Great Run!

So last night I went to the gym really late and ran for an hour straight! It was great! I had to stop for about 4 minutes half way into it, but it was a VERY successful run. I got that amazing runner's high that you hear about. I pretty much get it every time I run, but last night I was high as a kite :) It was the first good run in a long time, way over due. I just need to pace myself better and I can go for a long time! I'm starting to feel like I really CAN run this half marathon (17 days and counting). I mean, actually run it and not just walk most of it, haha.

I really hate pacing and telling myself that I have to slowdown. That's why marathons are just really not going to be my thang- I'm still going to run one this fall- but that will probably be my first and last. Maybe when I'm old. Or maybe when I have kids, if they get into running- which I really hope they do!

Any way- looking forward to more great runs!

And hopefully more lengthy ones... soon :-/

Yep. Another one.

This day is perfect for blogs. This one will be shorter, maybe.

So I have two and a half hours left of work, and I realized: that's about how long I will be running 18 days from now, if I'm lucky I know that I talk about running a lot and a lot of you might think that I'm a good runner and have a lot of endurance but the truth is... I don't. HA. I am a natural sprinter, I have always had a hard time with distance running. But this is something I've wanted to do since high school. Just once. I always set high standards and big goals and then I let myself down. I'm ready to break that cycle, and I figured this was a great way to do it.

It's so friggin' hard though.

I say I'm a natural sprinter, however since I have doing nothing but long distances my fast-twitch muscles are not working, haha. I am SLOW. So now, not only do I have no endurance- but I'm slow too.

It's ok. Because once this marathon business is done I'm going to just stick to the 5ks and maybe some 10ks. I realize that I really love 5ks. They are short and sweet and speed work is important.

Plus, believe it or not, from what I've been reading- apparently shorter (but much faster) distances are a more efficient way of losing weight. It makes sense to me I suppose.

P.S. after 3 months of solid training, I still haven't lost any weight.

P.P.S. I think I look a little better though.

P.P.P.S. yes, I know I might not look like I need to lose weight but I am "technically" over weight for my height/ age.

P.P.P.P.S. I AM depressed about it. It bothers me.

bloooooooogin' it.

My day was made at 8am today :) When I was leaving for work Josh said to me "you look really pretty today". Don't know why, but it totally made my day. I mean I know he thinks I'm pretty, but just to hear it right when I'm just starting my day was wonderful.

I love all the stormy weather we have been having! Especially since it's staying relatively warm, but I think that is going to change as the week progresses.

I have Friday off! Yes! So today is like my Thursday and tomorrow is like my Friday :) I have a lot of things to catch up on. My room is a DISASTER area, from hurricane Lola. She's so messy! I don't have time to vacuum every day! Hopefully she'll grow out of her craziness. I will always love her even if she doesn't, though :) I just can't wait to have more space to spread out in my apartment in June. I think that will help with all the clutter and appearance of having a dirty room. I also need to do laundry but that will have to wait until Friday when I get paid. I hate paying to do my laundry! It's like $20 every time. It's ridic.

I've been slacking on running, and now is NOT the time to slack! Only 18 days until the half marathon! Gosh! How did I let myself be so under trained? I guess maybe because I've never trained for one before? Oh well, I know I can make it... even with the time limit! Ha! There is a time limit because people can't be there all day... makes perfect sense to me. They give you the option of starting an hour early and I really don't think I NEED to do that... but I'm scared :-/ because if you are too slow then they won't let you finish. But it is an extremely forgiving time limit... I really don't think I need to start early... I'm thinking of it as kind of an adventure run. It's going to be out in Pinckney around a lot of lakes and wildlife. It's sounds nice :) I feel bad for Josh because he's going to be bored out of his mind, lol. He'll probably take Lola and have her run around, maybe nap in the car. It's going to be a LONG run.

My sister, Crystal, is about to have her baby. C-section is planned for Tuesday! Hopefully I can get the day off but we have been so crazy short staffed at work. We'll see. I'll be pretty upset if I can't be there.

Man, work sucks today. Trying to be positive, but it's not working. I'm cranky, tired, and hungry. And it's only 10:09am.

Maybe I'll write more later.

Work.

So I'm at work, another boring day. I like my job. Pretty much just because my boss is awesome and I like the people I work with. I really don't like the work I do. Yea, sure, I get to "help" people who are sick and sometimes I'm even good at my job and make people happy. But I really want to do something different. I don't know what it is, but I want to do it. I want to stay at UM, but as of right now I'm not really qualified to do anything else besides what I do now or something similar. We have classes for new employees and I think I would really like to be one of the instructors. I know I would be good at it. But it seems like they all said they had their masters in whatever when they were introducing themselves... but seriously, no degree is required to do their job. They just teach you how to use the programs that I use every day and have used for years now. It doesn't seem that hard.
Any way, someday when I'm comfortable leaving my job here I'll look into it. Until then, it's boring routine.
Don't get me wrong, my job is not easy, but it IS boring... does that make sense?

Enough about work.

I "ran" 5 miles yesterday. It's in quotations because I also walked some of it. My intention was to run the whole time so I'm still going to call it a run... but there was walking. *sigh* My half marathon (13.1 miles) is in 23 days! I'm just such a mental case. It's been said that running is 10% physical and 90% mental, and at my level that is very true. When you get into the pros it's different. But yea, I'm going to try and concentrate on this more while I'm running and not while I'm sitting at my desk at work.

I was going to go work out this morning. I was up, dressed and ready to go. I then realized as I was putting Lola in her cage that she was going to bark and wake up my room mate... at 5:30am. She has severe seperation anxiety. If I don't put her in her cage she tears my room apart, poops and pees all over (even if I JUST let her out) and barks and scratches like a crazy dog. So, I decided I should probably not leave so early... I'm so bummed because I know not that I can do it, I can get up and go work out in the early morning before work! I could do it on a regular basis! But... Lola is a big problem.

My room mate is moving out when our lease is up (6/14) and I'm pretty excited because Josh wants to find a job in Ann Arbor and move in with me. It would be so nice to have that apartment to ourselves. I could spread out instead of being cramped up in one room. Lola would be a lot happier too. I'm just trying to be patient and hope that everything falls into place. Our relationship has really grown and I'm really starting to settle down emotionally. He seems to finally be coming around and having confidence in me, that I'm the one he wants. It's a good feeling.

Only time will tell... I hate that.

<3